I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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