So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
