I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
