well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i wish my penis had a tongue
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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