I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
