3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
