So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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