You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Randomize
