How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
