Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
