I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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