belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
