i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
