wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
