It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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