at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
