My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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