Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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