Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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