he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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