we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
