I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
