Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
