so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize