She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
We talked him into tasing himself.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
