How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
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