If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
