Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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