Are we in a gay sports bar?
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
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