When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
