I'm drive I can fine osifer
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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