I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
