covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Randomize
