think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
This is my gift to your gina
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize