We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
