I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
