It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
