I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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