I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
