Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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