drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
