Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
