dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
