Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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