Sponge bath it is.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize