No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
The convent might be a nice break from real life
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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