I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Panties = found
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