My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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