Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Your penis caused this!
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