just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize