Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
it glows. i had to have it.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize