Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
