Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
