Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
