If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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