id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize