so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
