was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
