What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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