If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
