I want to stick my p in your. b.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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