He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
This toilet bowl is my home.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
