Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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