He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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