It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
