Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
it's like iHOP with fire
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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