North Korea, Best Korea!
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I supernannyed him into submission
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
