my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
