Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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