Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
